Waste My Time, Please

Dear Cow-Orker:

Yes, I can write out detailed directions for every conceivable little thing you need to do in the new software. I can waste 3 days of my time doing that just for you. Waste? Why do I say "waste"? Because you and I both know that by the time I'm done, I'll have a 60 page document you will not want to wade through and will never read.

So, yes. I'll waste 3 days of my time for you. Knowing that I'm gonna have to answer your damn phone calls asking me how to do things that are written up for you. I know exactly how that call will go:

COW: Kaffy, how can I do X?

Kaffy: Did you refer to the handout? It's on page 47.

COW: I don't have the time to go through that whole document. It's too big and confusing.

Kaffy: But I wrote it exactly the way you wanted.

COW: I don't care. I'm too important. Come to my office and hold my hand.

Whatever.

So, yes. I'll waste 3 days of my time doing something you won't even bother to wipe your ass with. Because you want it. Asshat.