Monday, January 31, 2005

I'm An Old Fart, Aren't I?

Got this from Da Broad:

1. 10 random consecutive tracks from iTunes.

Ummm... I don't own an iPod. I don't listen to music-on-the-go. I listen to NPR in the car. Or country radio. Or my own CD's. That's it.

2. What is the total amount of music files on your computer?

I don't have any music files on my computer.

3. The last CD you bought is:

Queen, A Night at the Opera. It was a gift for someone.

4. What is the last song you listened to before this meme?

Gloria Estefan, The Rhythm is Gonna Get Ya. Don't ask.

5. Write down five songs that you listen to or mean a lot to you:

1. Defying Gravity, Wicked Soundtrack

2. Down on my Knees, Trisha Yearwood (get yer minds outta the gutter)

3. I Dreamed a Dream, Les Miserable Soundtrack

4. That Was Yesterday, Wynonna

5. How Do I Live, Trisha Yearwood

6. Who are you gonna pass this stick to?

Now see, the only people I know who read me regularly have already done this. So, if you wanna take up the stick and put this on your blog, leave a linky in the comments.

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

Stacking Cats

I have been addicted to this game in the past couple of days. It’s basically a Tetris game (remember that??), but instead of colored blocks, it’s cats. You stack CATS. And, the cats meow and make disconcerting noises while you stack them. It’s comedy gold.

I was Stacking the Cats at home last night (which means I finally got my computer back and it’s working! Woot!) and Mickey, The World’s Cutest Cat ®, was completely wigged out. I was on the sofa, and he was curled up next to me. When I started the game and the cats started meowing, Mickey got up and stared at the computer. He tried to lick and paw the screen. He paced around me. Finally, he bit me very lightly on the arm and looked at me like, “Mama! Please help the kitties. There’s somethin’ wrong. Help ‘em!” See? Told you he was The World’s Cutest Cat ®.

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

Told You

I knew it was gonna happen.

Cow-Orker: Can you come over and teach me X?

Kaffy: That's on page 54 of the document I emailed you yesterday. See if you can do it by yourself. If not, call me.

COW: Okay

Two Hours Later...

COW: Can you come over? I can't figure this out.

Translation: I don't wanna read it.


Please Go Read This. Now.

This states exactly why I am pro-choice. Please go read this as what she considers, a U.S. where Roe v Wade has been overturned, scares me. And, it's an all-too-real possibility.

Snagged from Da Broad. Thanks, woman.

Pure Genius

Remember the old comic strip Calvin & Hobbes? I loved that strip and miss it terribly. Well, there was a whole snowman massacre series. Some genius has recreated it in real snow. It's a work of art, truly.

In a side note, my older sister didn't get Calvin & Hobbes. At. All. She was confused by Hobbes. "Why is he real in some pictures and a stuffed animal in others?" This is a woman who has very little imagination, so I shouldn't be surprised that she didn't understand Calvin's raging imagination. Can't pick who you're related to.

Monday, January 24, 2005


I am going to die at 77. When are you? Click here to find out!

Well, at least I'll be fairly old. But 77 still seems kinda young to die.

Sunday, January 23, 2005

Snow Day!

Today was a perfect snow day. I slept in cuddled up with Winston and Mickey. Got up, made coffee, deboned a chicken that I roasted yesterday, had breakfast (cereal with banana). Winston and I layed around and watched tv. I made chicken stew and corn bread. Both of which were very tasty.

As Winston was leaving to head back home, I went out with him to clean off my car (and shovel it out if necessary) since we got about 12" of snow yesterday. Imagine my great surprise when I got out there and my car was completely clean. I had to work yesterday and didn't get home till 5:45. It was snowing like mad when I was coming home, but it didn't snow at all after I got home. Clean car!

Perfect snow day. Cuddling, stew, and I didn't even have to clean off my car.

Pie Pie Pie

Happy National Pie Day!!

According to the American Pie Council, here are ways you can celebrate National Pie Day. This cracks my shit up:

Eat pie. Whether you make it yourself, buy it at a supermarket or bakery or order it at a restaurant, eat some pie on National Pie Day. Pie is great with lunch or dinner or as a late-night snack.

Make pie. Bake your favorite homemade pie on National Pie Day.

Share pie. If you make or buy a pie, share it. By its very nature, pie is meant to be eaten with others. Have a pie potluck get-together.

Teach pie making. Stage classes and demonstrations and samplings at stores and schools. Invite seniors who KNOW pie to teach a class. If you don't know how to make pie, ask a pie maker to show you or attend a pie-making class.

Hold a pie night. Gather family and friends for a pie celebration. Everyone must bring one homemade pie for the pie buffet. We have heard of events where more than 100 folks come with 100 pies.

Hold a pie-making contest. Invite the best pie-makers in town to compete for prizes in various categories. Be sure to include the kids. Ask cooking teachers, pastry chefs and pie lovers to be judges. (We'll send you a sample APC pie judging sheet.)

Hold a charity pie-throwing or pie-eating contest or a pie auction. We suggest you donate the proceeds to your local community food bank.

Hold a pie sale and sampling. This is an excellent opportunity for pie retailers and commercial bakers to introduce consumers to pie through special National Pie Day sales and promotions. Bakeries can also donate pies to a pie raffle or pie auction. Restaurants should offer a pie sampler plate or free pie with dinner on January 23.

Stage kid's pie activities. Have kids compete in pie-making, pie poetry and pie art contests. Show kids how to make pie and then serve it at lunch, preferably a la mode. Teach American and world history, math and science through pie.

Pass along pie memories. Our pie heritage is slowly fading away. Call older members of the family and ask them for pie recipes. Ask them to teach you how to make them. Talk about your favorite pies and the family history behind them. Publish pie memories and recipes. Make pie often and serve them to the next generation.

Eat more pie. You can always have another slice, preferably warm and a la mode.

Do pie stuff. Sing pie songs, read pie books, quote pie poems, make pie charts. Join the American Pie Council. Contact the American Pie Council, the only national organization devoted to eating, making, selling, promoting and enjoying pie!

Weebl and Bob would be so proud. When come back, bring pie!

Saturday, January 22, 2005

For the love of...

My eyes! My eyes!

Oh dear god....there's more!! ACK!!!

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

Waste My Time, Please

Dear Cow-Orker:

Yes, I can write out detailed directions for every conceivable little thing you need to do in the new software. I can waste 3 days of my time doing that just for you. Waste? Why do I say "waste"? Because you and I both know that by the time I'm done, I'll have a 60 page document you will not want to wade through and will never read.

So, yes. I'll waste 3 days of my time for you. Knowing that I'm gonna have to answer your damn phone calls asking me how to do things that are written up for you. I know exactly how that call will go:

COW: Kaffy, how can I do X?

Kaffy: Did you refer to the handout? It's on page 47.

COW: I don't have the time to go through that whole document. It's too big and confusing.

Kaffy: But I wrote it exactly the way you wanted.

COW: I don't care. I'm too important. Come to my office and hold my hand.


So, yes. I'll waste 3 days of my time doing something you won't even bother to wipe your ass with. Because you want it. Asshat.

Monday, January 17, 2005

The Virus that Would NOT Die

I am sick. Again. Dear god. Will this thing ever go away?? What is my deal? I usually get sick one time each winter. I'm now on my 3rd illness this year. It blows. Well, I blow, anyway. I went through a whole box of Kleenex this weekend. Blech.

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

No Strippers Here, Move Along

So, I checked my site statistics today. While it has been months, months I tell you, since I wrote about strippers, the number one thing that draws people here? Search terms that include strippers, gay male strippers, etc. It used to be that variations of You Touch My Tra La La was the leader, strippers have now overwhelmingly taken over.

So, for those of you dropping by? NO STRIPPERS HERE.

Probably True

I may think I am an asshole or a bitch, but the truth is I am a good person at heart. Yeah sure, I can have a mean streak in me, but most of the people I meet like me.

Found at her place and also at hers.

Cleanliness is Cute!

Clean your screen.

How cute is that??

Monday, January 10, 2005

Still Computerless

Happy New Year, everyone! I am still computerless at home, so my posting is unfortunately sporadic. Sorry about that. And, can I just say? Extended warranties? Yeah, I don't have to pay for the repair, but I haven't had a working computer since mid-November. This bites ass.

Round up of the Kaffy happenings:

* Christmas. Went to Memphis and stayed at the sister's. Much humor in watching my cat and her cat deal with each other. When I got there, after battling ice storms, I brought Mickey in the house and left him in his carrier so that he and Buttons could figure each other out. He was nonplussed. She crouched, growled and hissed. My mom gave Buttons some catnip which mellowed her out enough to let Mickey out of his carrier. He started exploring the new place, walking around, smelling. While Buttons rode his ass and hissed at him. Every now and then, she'd get a bit too close, and Mickey would turn and hiss at her. I could just hear him, "Back off, bitch." Which she did.

Christmas day, Mickey was up on the sofa with me when Buttons came into the living room. She went behind the Christmas tree in just a place where there was only one way out. Mickey ran to that place, sat down and stared at Buttons. She crouched and started hissing. He just stared. She started to look panicky and added growls to her hissing. He just stared. She reached out and swatted Mickey. He reared up on his hind legs and swatter her with both front paws then sat back down and stared. After she was cowed long enough for him, he turned and came back to me. Buttons ran into my sis's bedroom and we didn't see her for a good 24 hours. My bad ass kitty won that little power play.

By the time I left, they were actually playing together. It was cute. Sis said that the day we left, Buttons kept going around the house looking for Mickey and sadly meowing. Awww.....

There was also much depression over my dad's pass getting revoked for the day. He was supposed to come to my sis's for Christmas, but he had a grand mal seizure on Christmas Eve and was put on bed rest for 3 days. Spending Christmas in a hospital? Not the best way to do it. Blech. Good news? My dad is now home from the hospital. He got home Friday. He hasn't been home since the first stroke in June, so it's been 7 months? Geesh. He's got to do outpatient rehab 3 days/week for a while yet. But? He's home. Yay!!!!

Got a digital camera. Yay!

* New Year's Eve. Back home. Went out for Thai food and watched Fellowship of the Ring on DVD in bed. Why? Cuz I could. Cuz I got a DVD player for my bedroom from Winston. AND....a surround sound system for my living room. How cool is that?

* New Year's Day. Went to see Spamalot. So funny. It was good, but not overwhelming. If you know the movie, you've pretty much seen the musical. Minus a few added songs. The chick who played the Lady of the Lake, Sara Ramierez, was amazing. Great voice, comedic timing was spot-on. She's fantastic.

* Back to work. Big Project is still keeping me way too busy for words. Hopefully it will slow down by February.

* School. Got straight A's last semester. Go me! And, classes start back up tomorrow night.

* Weight Watchers. What's that? Seriously, I have not been a Weight Watcher for the past month. I have to change meeting nights because of my class schedule which I'm not happy about. I'm trying to get back on track now. I did pretty good last week.

That's about it for now.

Oh, Snidge! While at my dad's rehab place, I looked out his window and saw a Wilson-clone tootling down Exeter Road in G'town. Was it possibly you??