Shake Yer Thang!

So, after my rant about male strippers, I actually went to a strip club last night. My sister and I met the Boys for a lovely supper at an Italian restaurant then went out for a couple of pitchers of cosmos followed by a trip to the gay strip club.

Earlier in the afternoon, sis had come by my office after her day of wandering through downtown Chicago. My coworker, T., found out that we would be going to the strip club, so he have me a dollar that he signed with instructions that I had to place it in a g-string.

A few observations about the experience:

1. The strippers can't dance. A couple could move okay, but they couldn't really dance. The male stripper dance, however, was spied. And, I did laugh. Couldn't help myself.

2. The place was a lot smaller than I expected. The dance floor was only about 10x10 with one chair and a sad pole.

3. It's not really a strip club. It's more of a stand-around-and-dance-in-underwear place. Sis: "Show as much of your booty crack as possible without your weiner falling out." That sums it up. 

4. There was one guy who looked like he came straight from 1984. Bandana around his head, white g-string with 4 inch long turquoise fringe hanging off the front, knee-high black leather boots. My sister's comment about him: "I bet that face he makes when he dances is the same one he makes when he takes crap." Yep.

5.  There was one guy who was quite a hottie. Gave the sis palpitations. But, she chickened out and wouldn't give him a dollar.

6. There was another big, hunky guy that gave me palpitations. I gave him T's dollar and he kissed my cheek. Awww....

7. It was not sexually appealling at all. At. All. The guys were kinda hot, but didn't make me hot.

8. The crowd was mostly gay men with a handful of women (like around 5) and 3 she-males. One of those guy/girls had the biggest boobs I've ever seen. Random comment from one of the gay guys who walked by us, "Look at those titties. It's amazing she doesn't fall over." When gay men are commenting on your bazoombas, they are too big.

So, all in all, it was an interesting experience and one I don't feel I need to repeat any time soon. If ever.